Divorce

The dissolution of a marriage is hard. If you have to face divorce, you need to know how to navigate your emotions, the legal system and your options. We want you to now know what we wish we knew.

Divorce »Education

Whether you are contemplating or actually in the process of divorce, you’re in a very difficult and painful situation. Divorce has long been considered one of the top two most stressful life events, comparable with death of a loved one. Both life experiences have their own grieving process. I certainly know first hand as I endured an arduous divorce and two deaths in my immediate family.  I also know first hand that you can survive and you can thrive!

 Undeniably, you have many questions and genuine concerns.  We have gathered a team of experts that will help navigate you through the rough and unchartered waters that typically accompany separation and divorce.  Our goal is to help you through the divorce process into recovery and healing and on to your own happily ever after.

 Each marriage has its own set of circumstances, all which can affect your case. Our goal is to provide helpful information. Education is the key to a successful outcome. 

 These are some projected statistics in New Jersey. There are:

  • 1,000,000   -Superior Court Cases Filed Annually 
  • 400,000  -Family Court Cases Filed Annually 
  • 65,000 -Matrimonial FM Cases Filed Annually 
  • 32,000  -Pre-Judgment FM Cases Filed Annually 
  • 33,000 -Post-Judgment FM Cases Filed Annually Statewide
  • 125 -Superior Court Judges Statewide Handling all 400,000

  What You Should Know About Divorce 

  1. The average cost of divorce is $50,000.  Ultimately, the cost depends on how long the divorce takes.
  2. The average divorce takes two years to execute. 
  3. You must possess all your financial records- from banking, investments, tax returns, credit cards, housing expenses and other debts. 
  4. Mediation is considered the least expensive process and is best done as soon as you are sure. The more time a divorce takes, the greater the chance is for hostility and emotions to take over logic and prolong the process. Mediation is not necessarily about what is fair.  Mediation is what can be negotiated.  Currently most divorces are settled in mediation. 
  5. Collaborative Divorce is a growing option for couples that prefer a cooperative approach without litigation. You should use a certified collaborative attorney. If couples can work together it offers a respectful, dignified approach that preserves family. 
  6. Children must be protected in the divorce.  Do not use the children as pawns or your therapists.  The cost to them is too high.
  7. While a good attorney is necessary, some unduly inflate the costs of divorce- they make more money the longer it takes. They are not your therapists and their rates are higher.  
  8. A difficult divorce requires a good therapist, especially if children are involved. A good therapist will help you, your children and the cost of your divorce.  After a therapist, a financial advisor is a smart investment.
  9. If you cheated or start to date in the process of divorce, DO NOT flaunt it to make your partner jealous or for revenge. 
  10. If you have young children, your relationship never ends. Communication is best through emails. Keep them short and to the point. Remember anything you write can be used against you.  

 Fact to know about YOU

Life goes on and you will be happy again.  Happiness is a choice.  Make the right choices, keep the faith, take care of your mental and physical health and you will find your  # happily 4ever after.

 

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ to Mindfulness (Part 2 or 2)
By staryoung — Jan 28 2015 - 2:22am

Even words have power. If you constantly speak negatively then you are thinking negatively and it grows the negative side of the brain. Just as if you speak positively you are thinking positively and grow the positive side of the brain. How do you want to train and grow your brain?

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ to Mindfulness (Part 1 or 2)
By staryoung — Jan 28 2015 - 2:21am

You may ask what is mindfulness and what does it have to do with divorce. A lot. In a divorce you make life-changing decisions when thoughts are racing and emotions are swinging. It is extremely important to be mindful so that you are able to focus when you make choices and take actions that affect your health, finances, children, and future happiness.

Star Young

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ to Divorce - Glossary for Family Court
By staryoung — Jan 28 2015 - 2:20am

When going through a divorce you may not need to learn how to speak Latin but you will need to learn the terms and references often used in court and legal documents. If at anytime you do not know or understand a term, you should have your attorney clarify its meaning and how it pertains to you.

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ to Dating after Divorce
By staryoung — Jan 28 2015 - 2:05am

Dating after divorce can either be ‘oh good’ or ‘oh no.’ Whether it’s first or last on the to do list depends on where you are in the divorce process and your emotional state of mind. Most clinical therapists agree that it’s best to wait to date until after you’re divorced in order to have closure, heal and prepare yourself for your future.

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ to Divorce 2014 Top 30 Poll
By staryoung — Jan 27 2015 - 12:48pm

When it comes to divorce, the first place we turn to is our divorced girlfriends to tell us the real deal. Here is our first annual SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ to Divorce with the top truths from women who have been there, done that, and wish someone had told them.

Star Young

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ on How to Deal with Your Ex
By staryoung — Jan 19 2015 - 7:10pm

Should you take a Tylenol to deal with your ex? Research says you just might. The University of Michigan has found that break-ups activate the same parts of the brain that feel physical pain.

SMART GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE™ on Divorce and the Marital Home
By staryoung — Nov 16 2014 - 12:58pm

There are a series of questions that women should ask when contemplating divorce. One of those is what happens to the family home. Divorce changes everything and many people want to cling to the house as the only stability, especially when children are involved. Whether keeping the house is your best option depends on many different factors. Here are issues to consider in making that important decision.

Alimony NJ Statutory FAQ's
By Hon. Robert Fall — Oct 13 2014 - 2:06pm

“Alimony” represents payments for the support and maintenance of a spouse, either by lump sum or on a continuing basis. Alimony is paid by the “supporting spouse” to the “dependent spouse”. The general rule is that a spouse is dependent when he or she makes less money than the other spouse.

Case Information Statement and Financial Documents for Divorce
By staryoung — Mar 26 2014 - 5:22pm

As you prepare for a divorce you will need all of your financial documents as part of the process. You will be required to complete a Case Information Statement to file for divorce. You will become very familiar with the Case Information Statement, a.k.a CIS, which also serves to outline the financial documents you need.